I have breaking news people....there was NO Peter Petrelli in Heroes tonight!
Seriously, are they trying to kill me?! My hottie train was ready and waiting at the station and then all of a sudden it gets derailed because they decide to give him a week off...just not good enough. I was expecting or rather hoping that he would be walking outside in the rain and then maybe slip on some mud and then be stuck in the mud so he would be rolling around in the mud (topless obviously...he gave his shirt to a homeless guy) and there he would be all muddy,helpless,topless and soaking wet....and i have just come crashing back down to earth because i just realised once again that he was not in this weeks episode so that little image thang i just created couldn't happen (because obviously if he had been in the episode that would have so totally occured!)Heres a little private message for a certain Tim Kring...stop palming us viewers of with Denko and HRG(he has lost his hotness factor ever since he stopped wearing those brown suade suits...they were hot) and give us what we want, a whole hour on the crazy train of manly sexiness.
P.S "There armed and dangerous, we have got to take them down"....i'd like to take them down! Grrrr ;)
Monday 30 March 2009
Friday 27 March 2009
Seriously, leave Robin Hood alone people!
Robin Hood....Robin Hood and Maid Marian....NOT Robin Hood and Kate!
I cannot remember ever hearing of a Maid Kate, seriously...it's just like some unsaid law that Maid Marian is Robins girl, they are meant to be together.
And of all names to choose, they choose Kate oh yeah cos thats sooooo middle age!
Whilst i'm on this subject i would like to set the record straight for Mr Ridley Scott...Robin Hood is not a musical...it also does not need to be remade by you because Kevin Costner is Robin Hood and Russell Crowe is not!
I cannot remember ever hearing of a Maid Kate, seriously...it's just like some unsaid law that Maid Marian is Robins girl, they are meant to be together.
And of all names to choose, they choose Kate oh yeah cos thats sooooo middle age!
Whilst i'm on this subject i would like to set the record straight for Mr Ridley Scott...Robin Hood is not a musical...it also does not need to be remade by you because Kevin Costner is Robin Hood and Russell Crowe is not!
At the Mo Flo 1
Hello Flo!
Something i forgot to mention, every so often(regular basis) i will be posting a note that says who my hottie of the moment is,what my song of the moment is and a random question that people can answer in the comments section! Okay so below is the first of these notes!
Hottie of the Moment: Robert Pattison (he is gonna be on here quite a lot)
Song of the Moment: Breakeven - The Script
Question of the Moment: If you saw a lost apple would you help him home and how?
xx
First Chapter of my book (Copyright)
School was finished for the day but the battle was just about to begin….The Bus. Moody clouds were gathering overhead when the bus finally arrived. As usual, many passengers who were already aboard the vehicle began throwing themselves off. Even the old ladies hitched up their skirts and darted towards the doors in a bid to avoid the swarms of uncontrollable school children that had launched themselves onto the bus that was already packed up like a can of sardines. As normal, Dan would get pushed and shoved whilst venturing into the madness, all the while hoping that none of the other kids would recognise him, or indeed notice that he even existed. Dan tried desperately to blend into the crowd as he dodged through the jungle that the route 666 had become. Just as Dan had given up on all hope of finding a well-hidden seat, a man in his thirties jumped out of his seat; and skin, and ran off the almost moving bus. As Dan weaved his way down the aisle of many occupied seats it was clear for him to see that he was not the only person who dreaded the school bus. Placed sporadically around the bus he could see civilians practically praying for survival. Suddenly a short, scrawny man who was sitting directly behind where Dan was standing made a shrill gasping noise. Those sitting near him turned to look. Dan snapped his head in the mans direction and met the mans gaze. Fear glimmered in his eyes, he was clearly scared of Dan for some unknown reason. Dan had done nothing. The peculiar man hastily gathered up the papers that were laden across his briefcase and sprung out of his seat. As he backed his way off the bus he kept his eyes focused upon Dan. Dan shrugged his shoulders and greatly received the sympathetic looks he was getting from the other passengers. He slid into the empty seat and fixed his gaze out of the window, as a particularly infamous group of boys in the year above Dan filtered down the bus, drowning Dan with their presence. He was aware that if he dare look at any of them in the ‘wrong way’ he would lose his eyesight, his brain, his life and possibly even his seat; now that would suck. He knew too well from past experiences that staring was not a good life choice. As the bus grew louder and more raucous, Dan could see the lady to the left of him growing ever more impatient. Through the reflection in the window he could see her perfectly brushed grey hair beginning to get messier and messier as she became more annoyed.
Her thin lips were pursed ready for action. Dan’s stomach dropped with sudden realisation. He guessed what she was going to do and he did not know if he could take seeing another slaughter right before his eyes. And as if by some evil magic, she spoke…loudly.
“You can get rid of the smokers, but you can’t get rid of the screaming kids!” she was tense and aggravated and was speaking to no one in particular.
The whole bus fell quiet. Dan turned his head so tightly towards the window he thought it might break off. His world continued to crumble as the woman spoke again, this time it seemed even louder. She turned towards Dan and placed her hand on his shoulder.
“Not like you young man, you’re sitting nicely!”
The immortal words seemed to echo on forever. At once the gang standing nearby erupted into laughter. Dan went bright red with embarrassment, pressed the bell and even though it wasn’t his stop he ran off the bus at lightning speed.
Dan had escaped the route 666 quite a few stops too early and was now standing in the pouring rain waiting for another bus to come past. He waited. He waited some more, and still no bus appeared. It was as if someone had purposefully told the bus to go down some different road, he was sure it was a conspiracy. After a while Dan began his journey home by foot, correction in very wet shoes and socks. He was drenched. The further he walked, the more annoyed he got with himself. He was annoyed at his inability to stand up for himself and be himself. Other people could, so why wasn’t he allowed to or able to. Why do I need protecting? The sun was setting and night time was creeping in when Dan finally reached the block of flats. He knew his mum would be worried for his safety but for some unknown reason he could not bring himself to continue on his journey. He had forgotten his keys that morning whilst running around the house like a crazy person after his alarm had decided to give him a lay-in, so the option of sneaking in was not really, well, an option.
“Thanks for that.”
Dan muttered to himself sarcastically remembering the mornings craziness. Just as Dan was about to move again a loud brash voice sounded behind him.
“Runnin to mummy are ya again Danny boy?!” the boy roared with laughter, clearly thinking that he was the next Will Ferrell.
Dans stomach lurched, dropping down the rollercoaster that had just forged itself in his gut. He knew as soon as he turned around he would receive his usual greeting. Dan knew who the boy lurking behind him was and he also knew that the rest of them would soon emerge from their ‘watchtowers’.
Dans palms began to sweat. He knew what was going to happen and he didn’t want to prolong it. For some bizarre reason, well maybe not that bizarre, these guys had decided to contribute to the hell that had been his life for the last 4 months. Dan knew why. They found it fun to pick on the weak, and Dan was the weakest person on the estate, especially since…since, well 4 months ago. Interrupting his thoughts another loud voice echoed from in front of him. This time Dan could see the boys face.
“Hey! You gonna just stand there or are ya gonna make it fun for us?!” he drew closer and closer to Dan, appearing out of the mist that was beginning to set around the blocks of flats.
Sure enough behind were three other guys. This sent a force of fear through Dan, more than usual. That makes 5! Oh crap…that’s not good….one more than… His heart began to pulsate. Faster. Faster. Without a seconds thought Dan launched himself into a run, the same thing he did every time he met these boys, hoping beyond all hope that one of these times he would actually escape his beating. However, Dan realised that today was not that ‘amazing’ day when he felt a large brick like body drive into him and smash him towards the floor.
Dan’s skull hit the cold floor. The sound of laughter rang through his ears as his head began to thump. Boom. Boom. Boom. The sound was constant and heavy. The boy was laying flat out on the stone ground, five youths surrounded him, joking and mocking him while he lay still and lifeless. They were not worried about being caught or reprimanded as all of the commotion was disguised by the high rise buildings that were engulfing the sound of fear and ridicule. The place was deserted and dark, all that could be seen was the gaggle of figures hovering over a body. The place was dirty and grim, no sign of nature could be seen. Graffiti littered the grey walls. The boy began to move. Slowly. Slowly. The gang near him fell silent. The group moved closer. Closer. The boy stood up, he was now standing face to face with one of the hoodies whose identity was cloaked in mystery. His fellows were also dressed in jumpers that concealed their characteristics. The grey silence was as cold as the bitter wind that lapped against the group of bodies. Dan gulped.
“Ah is ikkle Danny a wikkle scardey cat” whimpered the hoody.
The boys standing behind him erupted into laughter, waving themselves around like a jack in the box. Dan continued to look down, his shoulders hunched up around his ears for protection. Dan was tall and gangly. Freckles fell upon his face. His brown hair was a little tufty from where he had laid on it weirdly the night before. He stood awkwardly. The hoodlum turned from laughing with his friends back round to Dan. His voice turned menacing.
“Listen mate, I see ya round deese parts again I’ll make sure dat it’s the last place you pass through. Understood?!.”
Dan nodded cautiously and confusion danced across his face. These parts…they say that all the time, every part is their bloody part… Dan wished that he could channel these thoughts into words but to no avail.
The group of youngsters lingering behind the boy once again burst into laughter at Dan’s expense. Dan stood there expecting another blow to the head. But it didn’t. All fell silent. He looked up searching for the reason behind it, the group of youths had stopped dead and were staring at a dark figure that Dan could only just make out. Silence had cloaked itself across the estate just as death does across a field of heroes. As the outline of the man drew closer Dan knew exactly who it was. The man stood just a few yards from the scene. He too was wearing a hooded jumper of mystery, only he held himself with more stature and power than the others. The emerald green jumper was hugging the mans clearly trained physique. His hood was down so his dark, short cropped hair could be seen . He was tall and broad. His piercing green eyes narrowed at the picture that had been drawn in front of him. His mouth curled into a smile and his deep husky voice spoke with commandment.
“Lads what’s going on? Your not… teasing this poor defenceless boy are you?”
The man was grinning with acknowledgement at the situation. He was now standing between the group of boys and Dan. He looked at the gang.
“Why don’t you go on back to Colts and I’ll see you there.”
He raised his eyebrow and beckoned his head to the left. Without a word the scavengers nodded to the man and disappeared into the darkness. The man turned to Dan. His smile changed yet again but this time it radiated fake kindness.
“I’m Edi, but I like to be known as Driger. Listen mate, I’m sure they was just playing around you know, they haven’t really got a lot up there if you know what I mean?”
Driger pointed towards his head.
Dan nodded nervously and pulled a gumpy face. Just as he was going to reply, Driger looked around checking they were alone. His face had changed again. His smile faded and the same voice he had used for the boys returned.
“However, if you decide to come round here again you might not be so lucky, you see I like to think of this as my area so if I was you I’d see that today you witnessed a miracle and next time you might not be so … shall we say, blessed.”
Edi Driger took one last look at Dan, who was frozen to the spot, smirked and walked away slowly once again to disappear into complete obscurity. Dan’s heart began to pump so heavy he could feel his blood pulsating through him at an extraordinary speed. Dan felt as if his chest was going to explode. He felt dazed but he tried to straighten his t-shirt out hoping it would help hide the stains of defeat that were laden on him, but the blood from his nose clearly painted a picture of his weakness. He couldn’t believe it. Dan looked around him checking to see if the coast was clear for him to move from the spot. He shoved his hands in his pockets and drudged on preparing himself for his own personal Sisyphean hell. The bitter wind was eating away at his naked ears and nose the way it always did whenever he walked under the plagued bridge. He hated it. Every time he passed through, the blood curdling cries would echo through his veins intensifying the guilt and pain he already felt. There was no other way. He had to face his mistake each day. As he walked through his eyes caught sight of the graffiti covered walls. Scribbles. Meaningless. Crude. Nothingness. It made it worse that these sights of destruction were the last things he had seen. Billy. It made him sick just thinking of his name. My fault. The same questions were always there, knots in his head. Dan stopped dead. Shutting his eyes, he stood there still. Just being there. Dan could almost feel Billy. But every time, the same unstoppable shards of glass shattered through Dans memory just as they had shattered Dans world 4 months ago. All these thoughts only enhanced the poison that pumped through his veins constantly. He opened his eyes. It’s not your fault. He told himself the same thing everyday and everyday it stung just a little bit more. Taking a deep breath Dan continued his journey home. Pushing his own demons to the back of his mind he set upon creating a believable story that he could tell his parents as too why he was dishevelled and bloody. The truth?…No. It would only rip open a wound that they had battled so hard to heal. As he approached his front door, story ready and prepared for questioning, Dan could not help but feel as if someone was watching him. He squinted his eyes and turned his head slowly surveying the area. He stood there waiting for someone to surface but nothing happened. Palms sweating he took hold of his keys and opened the door. The smell of beef stew hit him as he shut the door. It was his favourite, but he also knew that stew was a sign for a ‘family dinner’ and tonight was not a night that Dan wanted to sit down and chat. His legs had become iron and felt cemented to the ancient carpet. Mum it’s time to change the carpet, you laid it down the year that…that Billy was born…SHUT UP! Dan changed his thought pattern. Tears had formed in the corners of his eyes. He was using all his might to hold them back. Don’t cry. Don’t cry….come on they won’t believe you if your crying! The truth was Dan had not let any one into his world since Billy had died. No one had seen the tears and he didn’t let anyone know his thoughts. He was certain they all blamed him so he didn’t even mention Billy.
“Darling is that you?” Dan through one last push at his tears and sentenced them to stay inside.
“Danny…” a short woman who looked as if her light had been blown out came through the kitchen door, as her blue eyes fell upon Dan she let out a cry and threw herself at him. Her frail hands searched his face looking for the reason behind the blood. After finding no serious injury on his head her eyes and thoughts darted towards his chest. Dan had predicted her thought pattern and grabbed hold of her hand.
“Mum, it’s not…I’m fine…it’s not the same!” he said this with a little more force than he had wanted. Grabbing hold of his head in her hands she spoke slowly, pools of blue infiltrating her eyes.
“Danny, what happened…I thought, I thought I had lost you too. All this blood. What’s happened?”
Her tears were forming a river down the side of her face.
“Mum, I’m fine. I tripped up the stairs outside….their really icy…I mean like iceman icy. I fell and hit my nose, that’s why…the blood. But I am fine, well I’m not because you know my nose is really thumping” he forced a smile, he hoped that this would encourage her to believe him. She stared at him for a short while, examining his face for any sign that he might be lying. After a while she shook her head and wrapped her arms around him tightly and began stroking the back of his head.
“My baby Danny, don’t you frighten me ever again. Never. I need you.”
The last words she spoke punched through Dan like a brick. She needs me…like I need Billy.
I am here….
* * * *
After dinner, which was yet again another awkward meal, Dan trundled upstairs to his bedroom. As he opened the door he let out a sigh. After four months he still found it intensely hard to even be in this room. Opposite him a perfectly made bed stood in the corner. Even though it had been empty for all those months Dan was sure that it would still hold Billys scent and the comfort that Dan always felt when Billy had been near him. Dan needed it now. He walked strongly through the centre of the room, ignoring his own unkempt bed and threw himself on to the remaining evidence that proved Billy had existed. As soon as his emotionally and physically battered body hit the mattress, everything changed. The questions that he had been fighting back and emotions that he had been beating away came bounding to the front of his mind like a punch to the stomach. He knew why he hardly ever spoke to his parents, because all he would ever have to tell them was of his misadventures. He did not want his parents to always have to hear about their son getting picked on or beaten up. It wasn’t fair: not with everything they already had on their mind. Dan himself could not let them down yet again, especially as it was all his fault. Everything that had happened. Why did he have to help me? My weakness cost me my brother, my friend and…and my hero. . He sniffed in the remainder of his brothers scent. Each breath that he took he cherished it with every thread that was left in his broken soul. Comfort. Everyday is always the same. Lost in his thoughts he had not noticed the loud drumming noise that had suddenly appeared. It was a constant beat. Boom. Boom. Boom. Dan sat up. He narrowed his eyes and began turning his head, searching for where the sound was coming from. It sounded familiar. He listened intently. Tonight. That’s when he had heard it. Just before Edi Driger had turned up and stopped him from becoming a piece of the pavement . Except now it was louder, much louder and Dan knew it wasn’t just his thumping head. He gulped. It got worse. Dan had stood up, ready bolt out of his room if he got too scared. Suddenly he heard heavy breathing on the back of his icy neck. He jolted still. Frozen with fear. A harsh and bitter wind came hurtling through the open window….Open window? Dan could feel the breath on the back of him. Something was stopping him from moving. He was trying to move quickly but he was being held captive by an invisible force. The drumming was now so loud; Dan did not understand why his mum and dad had not come rushing up the stairs. The breathing became deeper. Too heavy . It didn’t sound human. Two hands clasped themselves around Dan’s arms. He felt paralysed. Tighter. Tighter. The pain was harsh and went deep. Dan was being squeezed. He was trapped. Tighter. Tighter. He was loosing consciousness. The light that was left began to dim. His room began to disappear. Deeper and deeper. He fell.
Her thin lips were pursed ready for action. Dan’s stomach dropped with sudden realisation. He guessed what she was going to do and he did not know if he could take seeing another slaughter right before his eyes. And as if by some evil magic, she spoke…loudly.
“You can get rid of the smokers, but you can’t get rid of the screaming kids!” she was tense and aggravated and was speaking to no one in particular.
The whole bus fell quiet. Dan turned his head so tightly towards the window he thought it might break off. His world continued to crumble as the woman spoke again, this time it seemed even louder. She turned towards Dan and placed her hand on his shoulder.
“Not like you young man, you’re sitting nicely!”
The immortal words seemed to echo on forever. At once the gang standing nearby erupted into laughter. Dan went bright red with embarrassment, pressed the bell and even though it wasn’t his stop he ran off the bus at lightning speed.
Dan had escaped the route 666 quite a few stops too early and was now standing in the pouring rain waiting for another bus to come past. He waited. He waited some more, and still no bus appeared. It was as if someone had purposefully told the bus to go down some different road, he was sure it was a conspiracy. After a while Dan began his journey home by foot, correction in very wet shoes and socks. He was drenched. The further he walked, the more annoyed he got with himself. He was annoyed at his inability to stand up for himself and be himself. Other people could, so why wasn’t he allowed to or able to. Why do I need protecting? The sun was setting and night time was creeping in when Dan finally reached the block of flats. He knew his mum would be worried for his safety but for some unknown reason he could not bring himself to continue on his journey. He had forgotten his keys that morning whilst running around the house like a crazy person after his alarm had decided to give him a lay-in, so the option of sneaking in was not really, well, an option.
“Thanks for that.”
Dan muttered to himself sarcastically remembering the mornings craziness. Just as Dan was about to move again a loud brash voice sounded behind him.
“Runnin to mummy are ya again Danny boy?!” the boy roared with laughter, clearly thinking that he was the next Will Ferrell.
Dans stomach lurched, dropping down the rollercoaster that had just forged itself in his gut. He knew as soon as he turned around he would receive his usual greeting. Dan knew who the boy lurking behind him was and he also knew that the rest of them would soon emerge from their ‘watchtowers’.
Dans palms began to sweat. He knew what was going to happen and he didn’t want to prolong it. For some bizarre reason, well maybe not that bizarre, these guys had decided to contribute to the hell that had been his life for the last 4 months. Dan knew why. They found it fun to pick on the weak, and Dan was the weakest person on the estate, especially since…since, well 4 months ago. Interrupting his thoughts another loud voice echoed from in front of him. This time Dan could see the boys face.
“Hey! You gonna just stand there or are ya gonna make it fun for us?!” he drew closer and closer to Dan, appearing out of the mist that was beginning to set around the blocks of flats.
Sure enough behind were three other guys. This sent a force of fear through Dan, more than usual. That makes 5! Oh crap…that’s not good….one more than… His heart began to pulsate. Faster. Faster. Without a seconds thought Dan launched himself into a run, the same thing he did every time he met these boys, hoping beyond all hope that one of these times he would actually escape his beating. However, Dan realised that today was not that ‘amazing’ day when he felt a large brick like body drive into him and smash him towards the floor.
Dan’s skull hit the cold floor. The sound of laughter rang through his ears as his head began to thump. Boom. Boom. Boom. The sound was constant and heavy. The boy was laying flat out on the stone ground, five youths surrounded him, joking and mocking him while he lay still and lifeless. They were not worried about being caught or reprimanded as all of the commotion was disguised by the high rise buildings that were engulfing the sound of fear and ridicule. The place was deserted and dark, all that could be seen was the gaggle of figures hovering over a body. The place was dirty and grim, no sign of nature could be seen. Graffiti littered the grey walls. The boy began to move. Slowly. Slowly. The gang near him fell silent. The group moved closer. Closer. The boy stood up, he was now standing face to face with one of the hoodies whose identity was cloaked in mystery. His fellows were also dressed in jumpers that concealed their characteristics. The grey silence was as cold as the bitter wind that lapped against the group of bodies. Dan gulped.
“Ah is ikkle Danny a wikkle scardey cat” whimpered the hoody.
The boys standing behind him erupted into laughter, waving themselves around like a jack in the box. Dan continued to look down, his shoulders hunched up around his ears for protection. Dan was tall and gangly. Freckles fell upon his face. His brown hair was a little tufty from where he had laid on it weirdly the night before. He stood awkwardly. The hoodlum turned from laughing with his friends back round to Dan. His voice turned menacing.
“Listen mate, I see ya round deese parts again I’ll make sure dat it’s the last place you pass through. Understood?!.”
Dan nodded cautiously and confusion danced across his face. These parts…they say that all the time, every part is their bloody part… Dan wished that he could channel these thoughts into words but to no avail.
The group of youngsters lingering behind the boy once again burst into laughter at Dan’s expense. Dan stood there expecting another blow to the head. But it didn’t. All fell silent. He looked up searching for the reason behind it, the group of youths had stopped dead and were staring at a dark figure that Dan could only just make out. Silence had cloaked itself across the estate just as death does across a field of heroes. As the outline of the man drew closer Dan knew exactly who it was. The man stood just a few yards from the scene. He too was wearing a hooded jumper of mystery, only he held himself with more stature and power than the others. The emerald green jumper was hugging the mans clearly trained physique. His hood was down so his dark, short cropped hair could be seen . He was tall and broad. His piercing green eyes narrowed at the picture that had been drawn in front of him. His mouth curled into a smile and his deep husky voice spoke with commandment.
“Lads what’s going on? Your not… teasing this poor defenceless boy are you?”
The man was grinning with acknowledgement at the situation. He was now standing between the group of boys and Dan. He looked at the gang.
“Why don’t you go on back to Colts and I’ll see you there.”
He raised his eyebrow and beckoned his head to the left. Without a word the scavengers nodded to the man and disappeared into the darkness. The man turned to Dan. His smile changed yet again but this time it radiated fake kindness.
“I’m Edi, but I like to be known as Driger. Listen mate, I’m sure they was just playing around you know, they haven’t really got a lot up there if you know what I mean?”
Driger pointed towards his head.
Dan nodded nervously and pulled a gumpy face. Just as he was going to reply, Driger looked around checking they were alone. His face had changed again. His smile faded and the same voice he had used for the boys returned.
“However, if you decide to come round here again you might not be so lucky, you see I like to think of this as my area so if I was you I’d see that today you witnessed a miracle and next time you might not be so … shall we say, blessed.”
Edi Driger took one last look at Dan, who was frozen to the spot, smirked and walked away slowly once again to disappear into complete obscurity. Dan’s heart began to pump so heavy he could feel his blood pulsating through him at an extraordinary speed. Dan felt as if his chest was going to explode. He felt dazed but he tried to straighten his t-shirt out hoping it would help hide the stains of defeat that were laden on him, but the blood from his nose clearly painted a picture of his weakness. He couldn’t believe it. Dan looked around him checking to see if the coast was clear for him to move from the spot. He shoved his hands in his pockets and drudged on preparing himself for his own personal Sisyphean hell. The bitter wind was eating away at his naked ears and nose the way it always did whenever he walked under the plagued bridge. He hated it. Every time he passed through, the blood curdling cries would echo through his veins intensifying the guilt and pain he already felt. There was no other way. He had to face his mistake each day. As he walked through his eyes caught sight of the graffiti covered walls. Scribbles. Meaningless. Crude. Nothingness. It made it worse that these sights of destruction were the last things he had seen. Billy. It made him sick just thinking of his name. My fault. The same questions were always there, knots in his head. Dan stopped dead. Shutting his eyes, he stood there still. Just being there. Dan could almost feel Billy. But every time, the same unstoppable shards of glass shattered through Dans memory just as they had shattered Dans world 4 months ago. All these thoughts only enhanced the poison that pumped through his veins constantly. He opened his eyes. It’s not your fault. He told himself the same thing everyday and everyday it stung just a little bit more. Taking a deep breath Dan continued his journey home. Pushing his own demons to the back of his mind he set upon creating a believable story that he could tell his parents as too why he was dishevelled and bloody. The truth?…No. It would only rip open a wound that they had battled so hard to heal. As he approached his front door, story ready and prepared for questioning, Dan could not help but feel as if someone was watching him. He squinted his eyes and turned his head slowly surveying the area. He stood there waiting for someone to surface but nothing happened. Palms sweating he took hold of his keys and opened the door. The smell of beef stew hit him as he shut the door. It was his favourite, but he also knew that stew was a sign for a ‘family dinner’ and tonight was not a night that Dan wanted to sit down and chat. His legs had become iron and felt cemented to the ancient carpet. Mum it’s time to change the carpet, you laid it down the year that…that Billy was born…SHUT UP! Dan changed his thought pattern. Tears had formed in the corners of his eyes. He was using all his might to hold them back. Don’t cry. Don’t cry….come on they won’t believe you if your crying! The truth was Dan had not let any one into his world since Billy had died. No one had seen the tears and he didn’t let anyone know his thoughts. He was certain they all blamed him so he didn’t even mention Billy.
“Darling is that you?” Dan through one last push at his tears and sentenced them to stay inside.
“Danny…” a short woman who looked as if her light had been blown out came through the kitchen door, as her blue eyes fell upon Dan she let out a cry and threw herself at him. Her frail hands searched his face looking for the reason behind the blood. After finding no serious injury on his head her eyes and thoughts darted towards his chest. Dan had predicted her thought pattern and grabbed hold of her hand.
“Mum, it’s not…I’m fine…it’s not the same!” he said this with a little more force than he had wanted. Grabbing hold of his head in her hands she spoke slowly, pools of blue infiltrating her eyes.
“Danny, what happened…I thought, I thought I had lost you too. All this blood. What’s happened?”
Her tears were forming a river down the side of her face.
“Mum, I’m fine. I tripped up the stairs outside….their really icy…I mean like iceman icy. I fell and hit my nose, that’s why…the blood. But I am fine, well I’m not because you know my nose is really thumping” he forced a smile, he hoped that this would encourage her to believe him. She stared at him for a short while, examining his face for any sign that he might be lying. After a while she shook her head and wrapped her arms around him tightly and began stroking the back of his head.
“My baby Danny, don’t you frighten me ever again. Never. I need you.”
The last words she spoke punched through Dan like a brick. She needs me…like I need Billy.
I am here….
* * * *
After dinner, which was yet again another awkward meal, Dan trundled upstairs to his bedroom. As he opened the door he let out a sigh. After four months he still found it intensely hard to even be in this room. Opposite him a perfectly made bed stood in the corner. Even though it had been empty for all those months Dan was sure that it would still hold Billys scent and the comfort that Dan always felt when Billy had been near him. Dan needed it now. He walked strongly through the centre of the room, ignoring his own unkempt bed and threw himself on to the remaining evidence that proved Billy had existed. As soon as his emotionally and physically battered body hit the mattress, everything changed. The questions that he had been fighting back and emotions that he had been beating away came bounding to the front of his mind like a punch to the stomach. He knew why he hardly ever spoke to his parents, because all he would ever have to tell them was of his misadventures. He did not want his parents to always have to hear about their son getting picked on or beaten up. It wasn’t fair: not with everything they already had on their mind. Dan himself could not let them down yet again, especially as it was all his fault. Everything that had happened. Why did he have to help me? My weakness cost me my brother, my friend and…and my hero. . He sniffed in the remainder of his brothers scent. Each breath that he took he cherished it with every thread that was left in his broken soul. Comfort. Everyday is always the same. Lost in his thoughts he had not noticed the loud drumming noise that had suddenly appeared. It was a constant beat. Boom. Boom. Boom. Dan sat up. He narrowed his eyes and began turning his head, searching for where the sound was coming from. It sounded familiar. He listened intently. Tonight. That’s when he had heard it. Just before Edi Driger had turned up and stopped him from becoming a piece of the pavement . Except now it was louder, much louder and Dan knew it wasn’t just his thumping head. He gulped. It got worse. Dan had stood up, ready bolt out of his room if he got too scared. Suddenly he heard heavy breathing on the back of his icy neck. He jolted still. Frozen with fear. A harsh and bitter wind came hurtling through the open window….Open window? Dan could feel the breath on the back of him. Something was stopping him from moving. He was trying to move quickly but he was being held captive by an invisible force. The drumming was now so loud; Dan did not understand why his mum and dad had not come rushing up the stairs. The breathing became deeper. Too heavy . It didn’t sound human. Two hands clasped themselves around Dan’s arms. He felt paralysed. Tighter. Tighter. The pain was harsh and went deep. Dan was being squeezed. He was trapped. Tighter. Tighter. He was loosing consciousness. The light that was left began to dim. His room began to disappear. Deeper and deeper. He fell.
Yellow!
This is my first Blog(yay for me)!
My blog will be filled with many different things including.....(drum roll please)
1. Extracts from my story
2. My thoughts, feelings and views on all things fabulous
3. My thoughts, feelings and views on all things that just need to be ripped to shreds!
4. My randomness that needs to be broadcast to the world
5. I will also keep you posted on how my plan to take over the world is going...Mwahahaha!
Not to mention all the rants that i have...they too will be placed lovingly on this very page :D
Okay, thats all for now sally...
xx
This is my first Blog(yay for me)!
My blog will be filled with many different things including.....(drum roll please)
1. Extracts from my story
2. My thoughts, feelings and views on all things fabulous
3. My thoughts, feelings and views on all things that just need to be ripped to shreds!
4. My randomness that needs to be broadcast to the world
5. I will also keep you posted on how my plan to take over the world is going...Mwahahaha!
Not to mention all the rants that i have...they too will be placed lovingly on this very page :D
Okay, thats all for now sally...
xx
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